Breaking News from Playa Hermosa
Well, folks, the day we feared has arrived. The legend. The myth. The man who once juggled high end deals, Jack and Coke’s, and five offers before lunch… has officially hit the big six-oh. That’s right. Mike just turned 60, and he’s now sliding face-first into the golden years with all the grace of a howler monkey on a mango bender.
Let’s just call it what it is: he’s over the hill. Not gently coasting—over it. Like, clear-air-turbulence level over it. From here on out, it’s orthopedic flip-flops, suspicious moles, and the occasional “Wait, what were we talking about again?”
Tank Tops Flip Flops Newsletter edition no. 245
In Costa Rica, there’s no Zillow to get lost in. No MLS to confuse him. Just raw, unfiltered Mike wandering through showings asking why no one uses fax anymore and whether this house comes with a hammock warranty.
Thinking of listing your home with Mike? Sure, if you want your property photos mailed in a manila envelope with a handwritten map to “where the toucan sits.” He’s still out there calling WhatsApp “that green texting thing,” and if he hears the word “drone,” he’s ducking under a table.
Need a social media presence? Mike thinks “hashtag” is a breakfast item and TikTok is what his knee does when the weather changes. Honestly, at this point, he’s more qualified to teach a history class on Costa Rican real estate than actually sell it.
Look, let’s just say it. It might be time to find a younger, flashier realtor. Someone with great hair, shiny teeth, and no idea what it was like to sell homes before the internet. Mike’s done. Retire him. Pack him a cooler, give him a rocking chair with a view of the Pacific, and send in the next generation.
…Unless, of course, you want experience. Grit. A guy who’s survived market crashes, tropical storms, and that one time he tried to outdrink the Pilsen Girls. Someone who knows every monkey trail and beach shortcut, and whose handshake still closes deals.
In that case… maybe keep him around.
Just make sure he remembers where he parked his Truck.
Happy 60th, Mike. You’re not done. But damn, you’re well-done.
All kidding aside it has been a great ride so far. You are aging like fine wine…
PURA VIDA!!!!!