Tank Tops Flip Flops Newsletter edition no. 44
I think it was Liza Minnelli who once said, “Dogs are better than children, because they won’t grow up to write a book about you.” I couldn’t agree more, which is obviously why I have 7; Dogs that is, not kids. At least I haven’t gotten that infamous call yet; “his name is Junior, he is 13 and he needs a bike.” So I figured that I might as well start this story myself, and lay it all on the line, which is how this Newsletter thing came about. When you talk about your own faults, it’s not as bad as someone else throwing you under the bus. This way, when someone does write a book about me later, it won’t faze anyone. “Michael Simons is this, that and the other thing,” people will say, “Oh I already know that, I have been reading Tank Tops and Flip Flops for years.”
But I always have had a way with animals, and sometimes I do believe I am Dr. Doolittle. Just the other day, I was driving home, and there was this gorgeous Weimaraner in the middle of the road, just standing there. Cars were flying by, without even slowing down, and he was just in another world, oblivious to the danger around him. I turned my truck into both lanes and put it into park, so that everyone was forced to stop, and got out for a little one on one. Dozens of cars were backed up, obviously not very happy, but I could care less. I wasn’t about to let this beautiful creature get run over by a bus.