Tank Tops Flip Flops Newsletter edition no. 61

I always hear people say that they are concerned that they will be lonely and not have any friends if they move to Costa Rica. This is the farthest from the truth you can possibly be. The most common comment I hear from new Ex Pats, is that they have made more friends in their first 6 months than they had in 20 years back in Canada or the USA.  You see, everyone was the “new guy” at one time or another; so people go out of their way when they meet a “freshie” to invite them to gatherings, and introduce them to everyone they know. Of course, then the next groups they meet want to do the same thing; and so on and so on, and before you know it, you have met hundreds of residents and made some incredible friendships. I promise you; you will have the greatest social life imaginable, unless you just happen to be the most boring human being on earth. The biggest problem you are going to have, is finding enough time to go to all these parties.

You will also be amazed at how well the Ticos will accept you; they are always very accommodating to Gringos, being extra patient and understanding with us. Costa Ricans are some of the nicest people I have ever met, and that is why I live here. Yes they are the happiest country on the earth, but they are also some of the friendliest too. In 12 years of being here I have never once felt that they didn’t want me or harbored any ill feelings towards me. It is actually the opposite, as they have opened their arms and hearts to so many foreigners, and I can honestly say I have dozens of them as friends. Treat them with kindness; respect their culture and values; be appreciative that they allow you to live in this paradise; give back to the community; leave all your negativity in your home country; and they will return the hospitality to you ten times over.

One of the other big misconceptions that people have about living here is that they won’t ever see their friends or family. They think that because they are so far away, no one will come and visit. It is actually the exact opposite, as you will turn them away in droves.  I have heard people say, “I can’t get rid of them! They just keep coming and coming! Like Cockroaches.”  LOL.  Everybody wants to visit their friends in paradise; EVERYBODY. I actually have a rule; only one set of visitors a month and you cannot stay more than 7 days; period; no exceptions. Otherwise, I would never have a moment to myself. It is also one of the reasons I only have one spare bedroom, not 2 or 3 like some people. The biggest mistake you can make is buying or building a house with a bundle of places to sleep, because your friends and family will show up with everyone. Kids, uncles, grandparents, neighbors, they will even bring the soccer coach if you give them a bed to sleep on. Hell, they would charter a private plane and bring the whole darn team, if you have a big enough house. Even when my family comes to visit, I rent my neighbor Jerry’s house next door. This way, they can come over in the day, do all the cool stuff with Uncle Mike, but get the heck out of my hair come dark.

What people don’t realize is that it is actually a very short flight to Liberia International airport in Guanacaste Costa Rica. It is less than 5 hours from Toronto or New York; 3.5 from Atlanta or Texas; and just a blink over 2 from Miami. It actually only takes me 20 minutes longer to fly home to Denver to visit my family, than it did when I lived in South Florida. So unless you live in the Arctic Circle, you can be in Costa Rica by lunch time. You land at LIR airport, and 30 minutes later, you are having a cocktail and a bowl of ceviche on the beach. Trust me when I tell you, having friends and family come to visit is not going to be your problem; getting them to go home will be. When you live here, you actually sometimes get tired of people visiting, and it can be exhausting and overwhelming too. Of course, they are on vacation and expect you to just drop everything and tour them around every single day. You can only zip line and horseback ride so many times a year, before your lower back gives out, and drinking your face off every night with your visiting friends can be deadly to the health of your liver. So just like any thing in life, moderation is the key; hence my rule; one visitor per month.

But no matter who comes to visit, I always take them on my friend Bret’s Catamaran, the Marlin del Rey Sunset Tour. They actually have 3 boats, and it is one of the more popular trips around, and you can hear more about it here in his own voice. 

It is my all-time favorite way to spend a day; cruising on the ocean, on a Million dollar craft. This is a First Class Sailing Vessel, the best in town, and there is not a better way to travel. Here is more info on his business.

http://marlindelrey.com/

Bret is a great example of what to do right when doing business in Costa Rica.  Here is some advice from Bret if you are thinking about opening a business here and his take on life in Guanacaste

My best buddy Travis and his gorgeous wife Tanya came back to hang with me again just a few weeks ago. If you remember from some of my earlier Newsletters, Travis was with me on my very first trip to Costa Rica, 15 years ago. Now, I know what you are saying; that I have only gotten to Part 3 of “How I Came to Costa Rica”, but as you can tell from the last dozen articles or so, I have been quite busy and wanted to share these stories with you. But please have confidence in me, and don’t change the channel, because I will get to Parts 4 and 5 soon enough. I promise. The last couple months, I have had so many visitors, and experienced some incredible adventures, that I felt they were more pressing to write about. You really can have your cake and eat it too; I am the living proof, but you have to take control of your life and live for the day. As the famous sayings go; if you live in the past, you die in the past; yesterday is history; tomorrow is a mystery; today is a gift, and that is why they call it the PRESENT.

We loaded up at 1:30 pm and the boat took off shortly after that. The Catamaran that moors in Playas del Coco is actually the newest of the three, and it is just simply called the MARLIN; the other two are the MARLIN DEL REY and the MARLIN 3. It is a 65 foot beast, custom designed and specially equipped for their Sailing Tours. The design features multiple-seating areas, plus an enlarged salon roof, and feels more like a Yacht than a CAT, and the staff is exceptional. From the second you board the boat, you are treated like Kings and Queens, as the crew waits on you hand and foot. They have an open bar, with Premium liquors and imported beers, and about 6 blenders running all afternoon long, and you never once have to wait for a FuFu drink, as they keep them coming the entire day. One of the nicest qualities of a Catamaran is that they ride perfectly flat on the water. Unlike most sail boats, that rocks back and forth, a big 65 footer just cuts through the waves and the chop. So even if it is a windy or a rough day, you can count on smooth sailing the entire way; many people get seasick, but that won’t happen on the MARLIN, I promise.

As you leave the Bay of Coco and head north, the views from the deck are amazing. Every time I see our area from the water, it reinforces why I moved here, and why I sell real estate. The hills are dotted with some of the most impressive homes south of Texas, and the shoreline is spectacular. Huge peninsulas pour out into the Golfo de Papagayo, with bundles of tiny little coves and white sandy beaches; half a dozen islands, including the famous Monkey Head Rock, protrude from the sea. Staring you in the face, just as plain as day, you can see Rincon de la Vieja, Miravalles and Tenorio volcanoes, jetting into the clouds, so close you feel you can touch them. Off in the distance, the Santa Rosa National Park looms on the horizon, the first one established in Costa Rica in 1971; a total of 191 square miles. On a clear day, you can see Witches Rock, a white shadow against the backdrop, the most famous surf destination in the country and one of the top 5 in the world; and you can even see the Bat Islands, considered by many one of the best scuba dives on the planet. The Pacific Ocean is crystal clear, and nothing beats the smell of salt, spraying up and cooling you off. As we pass Playa Hermosa and Playa Panama, you can look back into the Bahia Culebra and see the Papagayo Marina and the Arnold Palmer Golf Course, and some of the nicest resorts in Latin America; Hyatt Andaz; Hilton Papagayo; Grand Occidental; and the small boutique hotel the El Mangroove. The Cat takes a sweeping turn around the Peninsula Papagayo, where the famous Four Seasons hotel and its luxury real estate come into view. Some of the most expensive homes ever built, seem to just hang off these cliffs, and the rumors always fly of the famous actors and musicians who have visited. Just a few months ago, U2 were relaxing here, and made it over to our side of the bay for some action. Spending time on a boat like this makes YOU feel like a rock star.

I have probably been on this tour 30 or 40 times, and I never get tired of it; ever. What I enjoy the best is the wide diversity of people that I meet, as it is one of the most highly recommended activities by the hotels. On this particular day, we had a wonderful crowd of about 35 people, and they were from all over North America and the world.  The boat is actually licensed to hold 98 plus crew, but Bret never books more than 75 so that there is always room to roam. There were two couples on their honeymoons, one from Houston Texas and the other from New York City, and their entourage of friends accompanying them from Brooklyn. Travis and Tanya were especially excited, as they had gotten married here on Playa Hermosa beach a couple years earlier, and this was their first return trip since tying the knot. So you can imagine the chatter amongst the wives of how romantic it was to get married in paradise. Five college girls from Canada were just in awe of the scenery; living somewhere near the North Pole doesn’t quite have the same warm and fuzzy feeling I guess.

Indiana, Illinois and Wisconsin were all represented that day, as well as Colorado, Florida, Washington DC and Nashville, Tennessee. There was a family from Oklahoma City, having their annual reunion, this time in a much more tropical environment, and even some International visitors; England, Germany and a cute little couple from Russia.

As the music played and the drinks were served, everyone found their little spot to relax. Some were on the front of the boat, sleeping on the tarp, working on their tans. Others were parked in various spots around the railings, soaking up the views of the ocean. A couple guys were at the back of the boat, fishing rods in hand, hoping to catch a Mahi Mahi or two as we motored across the Bay. The rest of us though, were dancing to the tunes, happy to be in paradise with a cocktail in our hands. I never get tired of Pina Coladas and Jimmy Buffett, and I always find myself thinking how lucky I am to live this inspiring lifestyle; 9 out of 10 of the most content countries in the world are in Latin America and of course Costa Rica is always near the top of every one of these lists. I truly believe Costa Rica “saved” me from the miserable grind that so many people have to deal with on a day to day basis. I was the only one on the boat, other than the crew, who wasn’t faced with the horrible reality of having to go back in a couple more days. Pura Vida!!!! My life rocks!!!

Some very good friends of mine had actually chartered this boat for an overnight trip a few months ago. They were celebrating a host of events, all in one trip, and had both their families camping on the deck, moored in the National Park, sleeping under the stars, a gathering they will be talking about for the rest of their lives I am sure. Check with Bret and I am positive he can set something up for you, if this is up your alley. He also books the boat for private tours like weddings and retreats.

We made one last turn, and approached our secret spot, and the crew dropped anchor and we came to a halt. We had arrived at Playa Huevos, a breathtaking little bay that can only be reached by water. There are dozens of hideaways like this, just a short hop from our beaches, where you can spend an afternoon and not see another single sole. Coming here always makes you feel like you are the only one who has ever stopped in this cove; like Sir Francis Drake on his voyage around the world. It reminds me of the lagoon in Gilligan’s Island, this majestic little Eden, with crystal clear visibility, and sand so fine it is as soft as flour. I LOVE THIS place, and I never get tired of coming here. Everyone headed into the water, each to their own little adventure. Personally, I didn’t waste any time, opening the railing and cannonballing into the sea. Others took the more political correct approach, with a short ride down the water slide off the back of the CAT.  Bret’s boats have it all, and you can pick your passion so to speak. They have snorkel gear, fins and masks, and one of the crew leads you on a journey, over the reefs and around the rocks, diving down to bring up various sea creatures for everyone to see. There are octopus, and star fish, puffers and conch, and an array of thousands of colored fish right in front of your eyes. They have stand up paddle boards, where you can test your agility and balance, and this is the perfect place to try it for the first time. The horseshoe is like glass, smooth and calm, and no currents or waves to knock you off your feet.

I headed straight for the shore, the explorer that I am; ready to check out the jungle right as it meets the sea. We saw monkeys and birds, in just about every tree, and a family of crab eating raccoons, digging in the sand, along with its famous cousin, the coatimundi. As you walk across the beach, you can hear this grumble and rumble, almost like a growl, a small roar, and it gets louder and louder as you get closer to the rocks. Tucked in the hillside, is this massive hole; and you can see this cloud of spray shooting into the air every couple of seconds!  As you climb down into the cave, you realize that there are actually two tunnels, each one going in different directions that cut completely through the peninsula and you can see all the way through to the raw ocean on the other side. If you are brave enough, or stupid enough, depending on your view (and I am), you can work your way into the middle of the caverns as the tide fills it up. It is like an amusement park ride, as thousands of gallons of salt water, explodes into the tube, smashing you against the rocks, forcing you to hold on for dear life. The current sucks back out again, and you have to grab the sides to keep from getting swallowed alive with the surge.  Instantly, the force returns; the noise is deafening; the power is devouring. AWESOME! I adore this place!!!!

After about an hour or so of water time, everyone was corralled back on the boat for lunch. As is standard practice it seems in Costa Rica, the food is delicious; Savory BBQ chicken and fresh guacamole; a wide variety of local fruits, with piles of chips and pico de gallo; even good old Frito-Lay Cheetos; and a plate of homemade chocolate chip cookies for desert.  Another round of drinks, and we pulled anchor and headed out to sea. Coming here, we stayed close to the shore, so you could see the amazing rock formations and terrain. But for the return trip back, they headed west, out to the depths, and hoisted the huge sails in the air. The wind grabbed us tight and whisked us along, and we were cruising like we were competing for the Auld Mug.  As we got into deeper waters, the marine life became more prevalent, and we were treated to a show worthy of a Jacques Cousteau documentary.  A dozen Dolphins appeared out of nowhere, acting like little kids at a playground; dive bombing in and out of the wake, ducking under the front of the vessel; racing next to us, daring us to go faster. Costa Rica has 4 or 5 species of Dolphins, and you can just about guarantee you will see them when you are out on the water.  Just 50 meters or so off the starboard side, a school of Eagle Rays was attempting to fly. They would literally leap out of the water, 6 or 7 feet in the air, twisting and turning, spinning and flapping, only to come crashing down again into the surf.  They were like Olympic gymnasts, giving us our own personal show, each one trying to outdo the last, hoping for the Gold Medal. “Look! Over there!” someone shouted, and the boat came to a slow crawl and approached this lump in the water.  There were two Leatherback Turtles, seriously getting busy; it was quite a scene, and we had the embarrassing feeling that we had interrupted their love fest.  But like two exhibitionists, they thrived on the attention; not once missing a beat, putting on a show for the clicking of our cameras.

And then it appeared.  Slowly at first, gradually getting bigger and bigger, it just kept coming and coming; I was positive it was a nuclear submarine. It seemed to consume the entire field of view, as this massive black bulge developed on the surface. It was a Sei Whale, the biggest I have personally ever seen, and it was almost as long as the boat; it was slowly breaching the chop, with its little baby calf just under its fin. It stayed for about 7 or 8 minutes, giving us all the thrill of a lifetime,  shooting water from its blowholes, before disappearing to the depths, as its massive tail came crashing down, nowhere to be seen again. It is a kind of Baleen Whale; these creatures can grow to be over 60 feet long, and weigh 30 tons, and are regular visitors to the Papagayo Bay. I have been fortunate enough, to experience about 20 whale sightings in my time here in paradise, as Costa Rica is known as a migratory path. We get the smaller Pilot Whales as well as the Blue Whales and the Humpbacks, some of the biggest creatures on the world, and even families of the wild Orca; causing dive boats to scramble like fire trucks, off to the scene.

As we sailed back in to Playas del Coco, the sun was setting to the west; one of those explosive combinations of colors that only Costa Rica knows. It is like a giant box of Crayons, every color accounted for, smeared across the sky and it absolutely takes your breath away.  There is no such thing as a bad sunset when you are here in paradise, and we all make an effort to see it every single night; but to view it a mile and a half out, with a group of new friends, after an afternoon on this craft, is priceless. I have to warn you though; this will rank as one of the most phenomenal days of your life, and you will never want to leave. Bring extra Tank Tops and Flip Flops because you will probably extend your trip.

We ended the perfect day at one of my all-time favorite restaurants; Donde Claudio; on the beach in Coco, with Lobster Fettuccine and a bottle of wine.  I am sad to see Travis and Tanya go, but I know that they can’t stay away too long, this place always brings them back. Besides, their week is over, and I gotta get rested up, as next month’s reservation is already full.

Hope to see you soon. What is taking you so long?

Pura Vida.

Michael

Adelante! Adelante! Forward, Forward, Forward!!!!  Hard right!  Hard right!!  Back, Back, Back!!!  Hang on!  GET DOWN!!!!  This massive wall of water came crashing over the front of the raft, as we slammed into a boulder the size of a Chevy Suburban.  The entire rubber inflatable, shot up in the air, flipped around 180 degrees, and came smashing back down again.  I was gone, completely hopeless, heading backwards into the river, seconds from going for a swim, possibly never to be seen again.  My paddle was the first thing to go, as it flew out of my hand, and I felt like one of those cartoons; where they are falling, helplessly, with their arms flailing in reverse loop circles.  It was like slow motion, as I was certain I was going in the river, and just as my feet came up to my shoulder level, headed over the back of my helmet, Kent grabbed me by the front of my life preserver and reefed me back in the boat.  We had just finished a 800 meter run through two class IV rapids, known as the Lower and Upper Huacas, and we came out the other end a little worse for wear. Pura Vida Baby!!!

When Kent told me he wanted some EXCITEMENT for his birthday, I did some digging around on the internet.  It seems the Pacuare River, in Guapiles Costa Rica, is considered one of the top five white water rafting rivers in the world; Potential injury or death? Awesome sign me up!!!  My entire life has been one big risk taking, so there was no need to change my personality now.  I have always gone with the David Lee Roth School of thinking; “A little ain’t enough for me; Living ain’t a luxury.”

The plan was simple; we were to meet the tour bus at the hotel in San Jose, at 5:30 a.m. and they were going to drive us the 90 minutes to the Rios Tropicales Operations Center.  This meant going back over the “highway to hell” that we had encountered just a day earlier, when we drove our friend David back to the airport after our adventure in Puerto Viejo.  Just a couple weeks before, I had been on a similar bus on my trip to Nicaragua, and the thought of spending another minute in a rolling sardine can makes my head hurt.  Add to that, the nauseating S turns that I knew we were going to encounter, made my stomach churn and I was dreading the ride the entire night.  You see, I don’t do well as a passenger, especially on buses filled with diesel fumes.  Even when I sit in someone’s SUV, I usually find myself getting car sick, and the last thing I wanted before rafting one of the most dangerous rivers on the earth, was to be light headed, and needing a good puke.  So when the driver and his assistant arrived, we told them that we would be following them to the shop.  They had this stunned look on their face, since obviously nobody ever did this, but since I lived here, and had my own truck, we were in a different position.  He seemed to be a little worried, that he might lose us on the way, which wouldn’t look good to his boss, but I assured him that there was no way on earth, I couldn’t keep up with his rickety old tour bus.  We followed them around San Jose for the next hour, as they stopped at 4 or 5 other hotels, picking up about a dozen tourists who were going on the river that day as well. We congratulated ourselves for being so smart, riding in comfort, hot coffee in hand, air conditioning blasting, listening to Tom Petty while these poor individuals were in for the most undesirable ride of their lives.  “Well yeah, I might have chased a couple women around……” as we sang the words to every song.  Remember, this is the Eternity reunion tour.

A couple hours after we started, we turned off Ruta 32 and followed a country road a few miles back up into the hills, where we arrived at the Rios Tropicales home office.

http://www.riostropicales.com/

We were treated to an incredible Tico Style breakfast, with everything from omelets, pancakes, Gallo Pinto and fruit. I believe we needed all the energy we could get, so I consumed a double portion in anticipation of the hard work that lay ahead.  As expected, they made everyone sign a waiver of indemnification, against, injury or death, and this made the anxiety that much more powerful.  We all then piled back into the van, for a 30 minute drive to the entry point of the river.  As is always the case here, the scenery was breath taking, as we meandered through rolling hills and farm land, huge mountains and rain forest, and the bus came to a creaking halt at the top of this very steep incline.  There was a dirt road, headed straight down at what looked like a 45 degree angle, and I hoped to God they weren’t going to attempt it in this squeaky old bucket of bolts; nope.  They had other plans. This farm tractor arrived, with a giant wooden cart towed behind it, and they instructed us to “Grab our gear, and get in.”  We bounced, and dipped; crawled and prodded our way, down the hill, to a flat load up spot on the river.  Kent and I were the only ones doing the two day overnight trip, as everyone else was just there for the one day ride.  This meant we had our own craft, just the two of us and our guide, and I wasn’t sure if this was such a very good thing.  Generally, you want 6 rafters to the team, especially on Rapid Class IV and V’s, as you need all the “steering” power you can get, but we just took it on as another challenge that we had to conquer.  Our guides name was Esteban, and he was just a kid of about 21 or 22, but you could tell that he took his job very seriously.  We practiced our paddle maneuvers, on his commands, so that when the time arose, we wouldn’t delay for a second.  Hesitation can be very dangerous on a river, especially when you are in rapids of this speed and severity.  If you ended up in the drink, it could mean some serious problems, as it might be quite a while before the raft caught up with you again and had the chance to pull you back into safety.  Besides, with only one rower left, and the guide steering in the rear, it would be almost impossible to get you back in the boat, without at least a long, wild, fast ride over the jagged rocks.  The thought of pinging and ponging back and forth between million year old boulders, is enough to keep you focused on your job ahead as you plod down the river.  People do die, attempting this sport.  Juice Fire!!!  Let’s go!

The first 15 minutes or so are basically a warm up to the “real stuff” and this allowed you to take in the vast amount of nature that surrounded you.  The Pacuare River runs smack dab through the center of the Braulio Carrillo National Park, one of the largest in Costa Rica.  It is 109,000 acres and has altitudes of almost 10,000 feet, and has some of the highest levels of biodiversity in the nation, with 90% of the park considered primary forest.  What this means, is that the area looks just like it did when dinosaurs walked the earth, and at times it is even quite creepy.  There are thousands of animal species, and it is so thick you cannot even fathom trying to walk through it, and yet here is this river, slicing it in two.  On both sides of the Pacuare, are towering mountains, with expansive scaling sheer cliff walls, and not a telephone pole or electrical wire in sight.  Actually, in 1986 the government entity known as ICE, which handles all the electricity for this little country, had considered building a hydroelectric dam here, but it was rejected due to the concerns the impact would have on the ecology of the river and its surroundings.  All I can say is; Way to go Costa Rica!!!!  Because this was one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen anywhere on this earth, and I would encourage every single one of you to take the time to visit this National Park, in one way or another.  As the river started to gain speed, I had a flashback to my childhood, and one of my favorite TV shows; Land of the Lost; where a family goes rafting and ends up back in time, and you would swear you had shot out of a time machine, 75,000,000 years ago.  Let the fun begin!

The next four hours, we worked our tails off, carving through canals and channels, flying over rocks and rapids, whipping around violent bends and turns; even negotiating whirlpools.  There are places on the river, where they have different colored markings so that the guides know the depth and direction of the upcoming rapid.  Esteban told us, that they are never quite sure what the river will be like, or what to expect until they get there, as the precipitation is so unpredictable in the rain forest.  Sometimes, they can have torrential downpours for days, and then not a drop for the next.  I am not going to debate Global Climate Change with you people, but this is why it is called Weather.  It is unpredictable.  It has ALWAYS been unpredictable.  That is why Meteorologists don’t last very long on TV, and usually end up being replaced every year by a different Weatherman.  At least in Europe they use women and they are topless.

Each rapid was unique, with its own special identity to try and capture your raft, and toss you in to the fury and the rage.  Some were like Roller Coasters, taking you up and then dropping you down with mind boggling G-force.  Others were like the Whip it Ride at the Carnival, which shook you violently back and forth, front to back, bashing your brains against the inside of your skull.  I felt like Wes Welker against the Seahawks Defense; completely useless.  It felt sometimes like you were in a haunted house, and you weren’t sure what was going to jump out and grab ya, so you just paddled like there was no tomorrow and prayed for the best.  One of them was a pipe, where it shoots you down the tube, and blasts you out the other side, like the gun on a pressure washer.  They had names like “Don Montana” and “Lose your Breakfast”; “Rodeo” and “Double Drop.”  One of our favorites was named “Toilet” and with just a little luck, and lots of hard work and skill, you could swirl around and get in the bottom of the bowl, actually surfing the flush for a good minute or two.  Kent and I, with the screaming instructions of Esteban, were able to deftly pull this off, and it truly felt like we were getting swallowed alive; the nose of the raft was so overwhelmed with water and pressure, it actually tore the entire front bottom off the boat.  For the last 45 minutes we had to take on Mother Nature with only 75% of our craft, but of course we survived.  Did you think I wouldn’t?  Not bad for a couple of old dudes, huh?  Happy Birthday Kent!

We arrived at the Rios Tropicales Pacuare Eco Lodge at about 2 pm, exhausted, but confident, having just taken on some of the toughest rapids in Latin America and come out on top.  The lodge is tucked in the rainforest on the banks of the river, complete with electricity and hot showers thanks to their hydro-powered generator system; a model of ecotourism and sustainable business practices.  We tied up the raft, grabbed the water proof bags and dropped them off in our rooms.  The quarters were actually quite nice, quaint and simple, but much more than I anticipated, thinking we were seriously going to be roughing it in the jungle.  We came back down to the open air rancho restaurant, where we met a wonderful couple from New Zealand, Casie and Matt, who had also rafted the river and were staying at the lodge.  They were happy, I think, to have some company, as this time of year, there are not a lot of tourists taking this overnight trip, and we were the only 4 people in the place, along with Esteban and Otto, the other guide.  “Do you guys drink?” they asked, as they held up a bottle of rum and invited us over to share.  

There is no halo over my head, I responded, and a new friendship was formed.  It turns out they are both flight attendants who live in Dubai and work for Emirates Airlines, and having spent the last couple years in the desert, they were ecstatic to be in a humid, tropical environment.  They had disembarked there the day before, so they were already pros, and gave us tips on where to hike and what to see.  We were all treated to an outstanding lunch, with a bucket of cold beer, and Kent and I decided to play Teddy Roosevelt and explore the surrounding jungle.  The place was amazing.  There were waterfalls, and natural pools, hiking trails and scenic viewing areas, even a suspension bridge, all just feet from the racing river below.  At times, the noise was so loud; you actually had to shout for someone to hear what you were saying.  We found this trail, heading up and out, and decided to see where it would go.  We climbed for what seemed like an eternity, and still never even got close to the top of the mountain.  Gasping, and choking, dying for another beer, we finally gave up and turned back, but I have to say the fauna was something out of a Botanical Garden; Gorgeous.

“You went where?” Otto asked.  “Do you realize how many snakes there are out there?  This IS the rainforest man.”  He proceeded to pull out his phone, showing photos of some of the beasts, that they have caught while hiking up that same path, and the lump in my throat started to grow.  There were Bushmaster and Coral snakes, and even the Fer De Lance, the most poisonous one of them all in Costa Rica, fortunately mostly only located on the jungle side of the country.  He went on to tell us, that if we had gotten bitten, we would only have 2 hours to live, if we didn’t get to the nearest hospital for an anti-venom shot.  He also informed us that it was a 4 hour hike, if you are in excellent shape, as there are no telephones or internet and the cell service is nonexistent; you can’t call a Flight for Life; so basically you are dead.  Living dangerously man, that’s my style.  Thanks for the heads up bro.

That evening we were treated to another spectacular meal, and spent the last few waking hours checking out the stars.  There is not one single light in the rain forest, except for our little flashlights and the stars, so it was incredibly eerie to be sitting there in the dark, listening to the sounds of the jungle.  We called it a night, and went to crash in our little casita.  At first, it was almost impossible to fall asleep, as the roar of the river below us was overwhelming.  It truly sounded like a freight train running through the dormitory.  But after a while, it became almost hypnotic and I had one of the best sleeps of my life, my exhaustion adding to the deep trance I am sure. The sun rises early in this part of the planet, and we headed to the rancho where Otto and Esteban were already making coffee.  After another insane breakfast, we were told we had about 3 hours to kill before launching the rafts again and heading on down the Pacuare. The lodge actually has two canopy tour zip lines, so we decided to take one for a spin.  As we zig zagged back and forth across the turbulent river below, I had to smile, reminding myself how tremendously lucky I am to live in such an impressive country.  It still amazes me how many people spend their entire life procrastinating as time just keeps flying by.  It’s your life people; take it back; take control.  As Bon Scott used to say, “Take a chance while you’ve still got the choice.”

For the second day of our travels, we joined forces with Casie and Matt, as the four of us teamed up with Otto for the lower half of the river.  Esteban had the unfortunate job of manning a raft all by himself, just two oars and his expertise, and I have to say I was definitely impressed to see him handle it alone.  We rocked and we rolled for a good hour or so, until we came to this little enclave, where another river flowed and joined forces with ours.  We took a short break from rowing, and climbed on to the rocks, and hiked about 500 meters up into the forest.  There, just pouring out the side of the mountain, was this gushing water fall, with private lagoons and a massive swimming hole.  We spent the next 20 minutes, jumping off the cliff, cannon balling into the pool, the water brisk, cool and refreshing, and even found ourselves sliding down the waterfall as if it was a man made water park.  STUPID FUN!  Who does this stuff?  It was almost better than sex after the Giants Super Bowl win; Almost, I said.

The next three hours we were treated to some of the most unbelievable scenery you have ever witnessed; from gargantuan caverns and caves, to towering peaks and canyons.  There were a few times where the water slowed down, and we could cool ourselves off with a dip and a float, before climbing back in the raft, seconds before the next eruption.  As we came around this one bend, there was this grass hut, perched way up on the slope, overlooking the land and the river.  I asked Otto if this was some sort of Ranger station and he informed it was not.  It turns out; there are still indigenous people who live in the Braulio Park, as they have for thousands of years, living off the land, fishing from the river.  Can you imagine?  Here it is almost 2015, and there are still people who have absolutely no desires or needs to conform to the modern world, and live in the jungle like the Mayans did 500 years ago.  Turns out there are tens of thousands of people like this in Costa Rica and Panama, and you can read more about it here.  It is truly fascinating, but two days of playing Francis Drake was enough for me.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indigenous_peoples_of_Costa_Rica

As we approached what would be our final Dance with Death, I saw a photographer crouched down on a knoll, taking photos of us as we passed.  I was the only one who saw him, and made an effort to look his way.  You know me; always up for a photo op; smile for the camera, man.  It was called Cimarones, which means outlaws or criminals, and its purpose, I truly believe, was to try and kill us.  “Hang on everyone!” Otto shouted, as we plunged into the anger and the destruction.  “Forward! Forward! Forward!”  For the next 180 seconds, I couldn’t even see the other members of my crew sometimes, the wall of water was so intense, blasting us in the face, pounding us against the sides; doing everything it could to capsize our vessel; separate us from our safety.  It was evil.  “Adelante! Adelante! Adelante!” he screamed at the top of his lungs.  “Keep at it, don’t give up! Harder! Harder! Harder!”  I was paddling like there was no tomorrow, the pain in my arms and shoulders was excruciating, but we all fought through it, knowing we were counting on one another to handle their share.  The rapid was not willing to let go. It fought back, like a psychopath, desperate to win; determined to destroy us; crush us; obliterate our raft.  It was like a sound track to a horror movie, getting louder and louder, faster and faster, and then finally; BOOM!  One gigantic explosion!  Somehow, we came out the other side; physically demolished, but completely intact; not a muscle in my body not screaming for vengeance.  The four of us lifted our paddles in the air, clashed them together to make the rafting salute;  PURA VIDA!!!  We all yelled.  Mission Accomplished!  Cheers Mr. River; Check mate.

Hope to see you soon.  Take care.

Michael

PS – On the return drive home to San Jose, we encountered one of those famous torrential down pours, known in this part of the country; the rain was so heavy, and so hard, my wipers couldn’t even clear the windshield.  It is scary enough making this drive on a sunny day, let alone during a thunderstorm, and I have to say it was one of the most difficult drives of my life.  Just a few days later, that same portion of Ruta 32 was the location of 3 giant landslides and 11 small ones that trapped 1200 people in their cars, trucks and buses.  Fortunately, no one was injured or killed, but it seems again my timing is always perfect.

PSS – We returned just in time for the Costa Rica Independence Day, September 15th, which is another sight to see in itself.  There are thousands of parades and festivals all over the country, and if you can ever plan to be here on this particular day, I implore you to do it.  There is so much National Pride in this little paradise, it gives you goose bumps.  This country is one of the only true democracies in Latin America and being allowed to live here is an honor.  Happy Birthday Costa Rica and Happy Birthday Millie Dolores; they were both born on the same day.  Thanks my little angel for 10 phenomenal years of unconditional love!  I adore you!!!!